"The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice." --Peggy O' Mara
Parents are always doing the 'best they can' based on their own backgrounds, conditioning, beliefs and wounds. By looking at our own childhoods, examining any limiting beliefs or bad programming we may have such as, 'I'm not good enough,' I'm not loveable' or 'I'm not in control,' and tracing each one back to their roots from individual events, or repeated negative experiences, we can consciously make a decision to break the cycle and become more conscious parents with our own children. After all, "Everybody's got a past, but the past doesn't have to equal the future unless you live there.".
No child is born with a remote-control attached, they are born free, unique, unconditionally loving, trusting beings - our freewill is our greatest asset. It is essential to remember that you are not 'the boss' of your child, you are their guardian, caretaker and mentor - children are human-beings, not human-doings! Yes, of course boundaries are important and children can't just run amok, but if their behaviour is not hurting themselves or others, what right have adults really got to intervene? Children are not here to live up to your beliefs and expectations. You wouldn't tell a friend for example to, "Finish up all their food on their plates, or they can't leave the table," when they might not be hungry just because you are. Or, not allow them to wear something because you don't like it, or you think others will judge them. And another one, telling them to, "Tidy their room!'" It is their room after all and as long as there are no hygiene issues and they're not endangering themselves or others - why can't they have a messy room? It is also quite unrealistic to expect a child to behave the same way as an adult. In order to feel valued and empowered, children need to feel heard and in control to be able to make their own choices in situations. Sometimes, by not 'protecting them,'or letting our own fears and judgements (or even the possibility of someone else's judgements) takeover, they can learn valuable life lessons for themselves. How do I know all of this? Because just like you, I was a child once.
When you treat your child as you would expect to be treated yourself , with loving kindness, respect and dignity, they will grow into loveable, independent, compassionate, considerate adults with bucket-loads of confidence and self-esteem - passing on this loving legacy to their children and so on....This ripple effect creating a far more caring and peaceful world.
Although the following article highlights that there is no such thing as stress-free parenting, there are some great ways to make your journey together a more joyful, positive and loving one. The Way of the Peaceful Parent, by Leo Babauta
No child is born with a remote-control attached, they are born free, unique, unconditionally loving, trusting beings - our freewill is our greatest asset. It is essential to remember that you are not 'the boss' of your child, you are their guardian, caretaker and mentor - children are human-beings, not human-doings! Yes, of course boundaries are important and children can't just run amok, but if their behaviour is not hurting themselves or others, what right have adults really got to intervene? Children are not here to live up to your beliefs and expectations. You wouldn't tell a friend for example to, "Finish up all their food on their plates, or they can't leave the table," when they might not be hungry just because you are. Or, not allow them to wear something because you don't like it, or you think others will judge them. And another one, telling them to, "Tidy their room!'" It is their room after all and as long as there are no hygiene issues and they're not endangering themselves or others - why can't they have a messy room? It is also quite unrealistic to expect a child to behave the same way as an adult. In order to feel valued and empowered, children need to feel heard and in control to be able to make their own choices in situations. Sometimes, by not 'protecting them,'or letting our own fears and judgements (or even the possibility of someone else's judgements) takeover, they can learn valuable life lessons for themselves. How do I know all of this? Because just like you, I was a child once.
When you treat your child as you would expect to be treated yourself , with loving kindness, respect and dignity, they will grow into loveable, independent, compassionate, considerate adults with bucket-loads of confidence and self-esteem - passing on this loving legacy to their children and so on....This ripple effect creating a far more caring and peaceful world.
Although the following article highlights that there is no such thing as stress-free parenting, there are some great ways to make your journey together a more joyful, positive and loving one. The Way of the Peaceful Parent, by Leo Babauta
No comments:
Post a Comment